If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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