Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
