I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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