tell your sister to shave her snatch
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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