Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
