In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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