is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
