This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Sext me about skeletons
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize