Will you blow on my dice?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
