UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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