Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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