Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
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