"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
