i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
We named our party play list daddy issues
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
sex in a hospital.. check
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
