why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm always down for nudity.
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