She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize