you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
