I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just found puke in my bra..
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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