you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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