At least make sure they are 18
Why
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
