Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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