that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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