I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
two words: eviction party
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
