Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
