She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
