i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize