..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
