I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
