If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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