I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
