we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
