Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
