I hate all girls vehemently.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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