I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize