Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
