dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
