we have pet lesbian snakes
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize