Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
