You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
