The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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