Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
