addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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