I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Ladies don't puke and tell
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
