I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The police scanner is talking about you again....
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Randomize
