I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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