at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
