He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
