This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I need to calm my uterus...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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