So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
