I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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