i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
