Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
