I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
