he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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