i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I am available for nakedness
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
