You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
