just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
